what is this?

This is either a humorous/sarcastic/vitriolic rant about all the things that are obviously wrong in the world, or its a serious manifesto providing some alternative, albeit unusual, suggestions for a better world. I'm not going to say which.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Thoughts on virginity

Lets face it, virginity is overrated for so many reasons. Its sold by fundamentalist fuckwits as a special gift to be given to the person you love, and so reduced to the level of a small stuffed toy (probably holding a big heart)… a well meant gift, but pretty disappointing when given.

The basic problem with sex is that we are born with an innate desire to do it, but our behavioural programming doesn’t really include much in the way of technique. Having shared the confidence of a few of my (female) friends, I’ve learned, albeit with a relatively small sample number that a lot of women have by the time they reached their mid-twenties either never had an orgasm, or never been given one by a man (I’m assuming lesbians are a good deal better at working this out).

So here’s an idea for a social convention in our imaginary new world: The idea is that virginity (and the loss thereof) is taken out of the hands of amateurs. Instead, at whatever age society feels appropriate, a professional is employed to sleep with a woman. During this rite of passage, the role of the professional is to demonstrate just how good and varied sex can be. The point being that after this one time event, there is firstly no longer a taboo about sex, or any angst about loosing one’s virginity. Secondly the woman would end up having a reasonably idea of what to expect from foreplay and sex (if done correctly), so providing a reference for future sexual encounters. If they don’t live up to this, then she knows that it should be better and perhaps can suggest how. Failing this then she, should she wish can look for another partner.

At the same time, a similar rite should take place for men, again guided by a professional, who would ensure that he leans some basic techniques. This idea would be that even if he can’t learn to give a woman an orgasm during sex, he should at least have a reasonably idea of how to achieve this using his hands or mouth.

The whole idea will probably end up being totally mis-interpreted and used as the basis for some sort of sex cult, but maybe there would be a way of avoiding this. In practice all I’m suggesting is a more practical form of sex therapy.

It would be nice to think that the whole process would help to cure the old fashioned/puritanical (male) obsession with women being virgins. Firstly by ensuring that actually no one is a virgin, and secondly introducing the idea that it might actually be more fun sleeping with someone who has at least some idea of what they are doing. It may also force a general raising of the standard of sex….

Christian fundamentalist burn me at the stake already….

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Atheist Americans should just leave and start over….

Face it, the country (at least the parts that don’t touch the sea) is owned by the crazy religious right. Why should atheists, scientists, intellectuals sit there and politely take it? Why should the patiently try and debate the teaching of evolution with people, who can not be debated with, because the find the answers in the bible, a book which doesn’t really allow them much wiggle room.

Perhaps it is time to admit that the country (or at least large parts of it) is lost. Before the ideological civil war gets really messy (messier than a few abortion clinics), perhaps you should leave. I’m serious, get out now while you can. Why not? You’re smart, intelligent members of the knowledge driven economy, which by definition is pretty portable, so leave. I’m not saying you should all move to Europe, you might not like it there, but it might still be time to leave. Talk to Bill Gates or a few of the other smart, ultra rich elite. Someone can probably stump up some cash to buy a few old cargo ships and oil rigs. Sail them out in to international waters, tie them all together an start again. If you work in silicon valley, you can probably do what you’re doing now anywhere, so be part of the brave new world. Become a founding father. Go, build a new nation. Start off small, work a bit, perhaps buy a few more ships, bring along some engineers, get them building things. Eventually it will go from a harbour to a big platform, then a small island. Hell, call it Atlantis if you like. (That might help attract a few more geeks and Stargate fans, me included). Seriously, why not. Build a new country, start again, try not to make the same mistakes.

I’m not saying you need to actively outlaw religion (but that would be fine by me), but stop it from being anything more than a private hobby. Start a new country, raise some money, make some clear ideology, then welcome anyone who wants to join… on the condition that it is, and always will be an atheist country. That’s the deal. You can come, you can live, you can work. Your kids will be taught by some of the best minds we have, but don’t expect us to pull any punches. If the scientists think there’s no evidence for god, then that’s what they’re going to say. We think evolution is right, creationism is wrong, that’s what we’re going to teach them. Lay it out nice and clearly, then let